Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Costa Rica Day 2-3

I am now in Puerto Viejo and this trip seems to be forcing me to address all of my worst fears - all at the same time.

Besides the usual - "Are you sure you're doing enough for your career?" And "What if the network hates this script when you turn it in?" "And what about that outline for your re-write, bet the producers on that project will laugh you out of the room - and not in a good way..." BESIDES those fears, which again, are always there, there was-

-The fear that being right on the beach, someone was going to break into my sliding glass door and kill me in the middle of the night.

I love traveling alone, so I'm usually pretty stout-hearted in unfamiliar places, but this is "remote" on a whole new level. There is no phone in case there IS a killer lurking somewhere. I am in the middle of the jungle. I have to go somewhere to use internet so no final goodbye's if I am broken in on, and when I tell you the night is BLACK on all sides, I mean BLACK like that man me and Kim Fluellen always talk about who was just eyes and teeth.

-And there were are all these stray dogs - you know I don't love that. In fact, one has taken up residence on my back veranda. Unfortunately, he's the one dog who isn't scary, so again, if maniac killer shows up, he won't do anything to protect me.

Last night I went into town for dinner. It was me in a taxi going through the blackest night I have EVER seen- y mi caballero no habla ingles.

Actually, I'm surprised at how few people DO speak English. The good news on that front, is it really is like riding a bike. I'm finding that I speak Spanish at much more than a beginner level and am totally fine communicating. Gracias Sra Weiss… (11th grade Spanish).

So last night, I'm on my way back from dinner, I'm with a driver who again -no habla ingles - and my hotel which is one straight shot through town, somehow seems confusing to him. Right when he gets near it, he turns off onto this deserted road. I said loudly and firmly NO. He is saying si, si, es este derecho. I'm telling him in Spanish to turn back. We are now in a place where really, no one can hear me if I scream. I take off my seat belt ready to jump out the car and leave all of my stuff behind - even my computer bag. I'd like to think it's because I love myself more than my career, but I did consider that I have been backing up and my flash drive is safe at the hotel.

So I literally reach for the door to jump out, when guess what I see hopping across the dirt road. My BIGGEST fear. And not one of those colorful ones you see in all the Costa Rica guidebooks, but the big, disgusting, awful, kind I've been afraid of my whole life.

Now I'm thinking - I can a. let this man rape and possibly kill me, or b. jump out with frogs running wild and no lights.

I turn to the driver and in my best Sam Jackson "I want these MF snakes off this MF plane!" -yell at him to turn back, and act like I'm reaching for something in my purse.

Surprisingly it worked. He turned back and when I showed him where the hotel was, he apologized and told me in Spanish that he can't read, so when he saw the sign for the hotel on the wrong side of the road, he couldn't read that it was telling him it was further up and not to turn right there.

It was all good at the end, I even gave him a tip, and although, I didn't sleep a wink last night - and couldn't even use the bathroom because a GIGANTIC roach was in there, I'm still alive. And it IS outrageously beautiful here.

Oh, and the 1st Act is finished, and I've started on several directions for a new outline for the re-write of my second script. Even had time to make some meetings on a third project when I get back.


  1. FROGS HA HA HA!!! Oh I wish I could video tape this stuff!! We have to travel together one day!

  2. Such Therapy reading your blog is! Thanks for inviting me into your World, and most importantly on this trip. (Even Virtually!) xoxo You're HILARIOUS!

  3. Eternal, remember, we DID travel together- And there were frogs then too. Remember you had to physically carry me across that river on that camping trip after I saw one?

  4. Lmao @ "took up residence on my verandah". However! I almost choked with laughing @ " I did consider that I have been backing up and my flash drive is safe at the hotel." ... how about muy nutso! lol, lol

  5. glad to see you are safe and sound and full of creativity:)

  6. How 'bout...Don't make me come to Costa Rica and whoop some MF'n A@@! Lord have mercy if something happens to my friend (I'm laughing. But I'm serious)!!! Everything will be okay sweet pea :)